You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize