Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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