I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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