your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
NoShamevember. You game?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
The power of my boobs compel you
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
