I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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