I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize