Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
