Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize