Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
