i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
