so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
