there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
