help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize