my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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