please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
