i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize