he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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