I love having hate sex.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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