oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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