Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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