yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
