i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
