do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
