Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
