I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
