So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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