Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize