Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Dignity is for republicans.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
