i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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