So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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