I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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