i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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