He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
