So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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