Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just invented taco cereal.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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