Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
this will be a night to untag.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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