I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
