We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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