Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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