How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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