what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
two words...techno handjob
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
