I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
