FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
