Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
