hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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