don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
