I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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