508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
that's an acceptable place to lick
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
