I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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