the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize