Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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