i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
