I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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