Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize