I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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