In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize