he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
