I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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