isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
