yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
