haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
