I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
false alarm, still single
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