Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
