im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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