He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
