He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
